http://lookstwice.blogsome.com/2007/09/03/the-center/ Emerging from the death of the American Dream Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:49:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.5.1-alpha http://lookstwice.blogsome.com/2007/09/03/the-center/#comment-2 Mon, 03 Sep 2007 13:07:58 +0100 http://lookstwice.blogsome.com/2007/09/03/the-center/#comment-2 Sadly the stress of the times often lands on relationships. There are so many feelings to feel and at times during the making of What A Way To Go I would tell Tim I needed him to "hold possibility," to make room for me to feel my despair without fearing that we'd both go under, drowning in fear and grief. It is easy for couples to polarize: one holding the facts of the situation, the other holding the balance, the possibility, the "hope" if you will, that we can live creatively, lovingly, meaningfully, in the face of all of this. It gets tiresome holding either end and we've learned to go back and forth. But Tim still tends to immerse himself in the godawful news of the day while I tend to look for the moments of tenderness, connection, sweetness, that are available. Neither is better. They are a balance. I needed him to "be strong" sometimes so that I could just weep in despair. If your girlfriend comes home it may be an opportunity to work together to find whatever unique balance can come between how each of you holds the current situation. Keep writing. It's good. Sadly the stress of the times often lands on relationships. There are so many feelings to feel and at times during the making of What A Way To Go I would tell Tim I needed him to “hold possibility,” to make room for me to feel my despair without fearing that we’d both go under, drowning in fear and grief. It is easy for couples to polarize: one holding the facts of the situation, the other holding the balance, the possibility, the “hope” if you will, that we can live creatively, lovingly, meaningfully, in the face of all of this. It gets tiresome holding either end and we’ve learned to go back and forth. But Tim still tends to immerse himself in the godawful news of the day while I tend to look for the moments of tenderness, connection, sweetness, that are available. Neither is better. They are a balance. I needed him to “be strong” sometimes so that I could just weep in despair. If your girlfriend comes home it may be an opportunity to work together to find whatever unique balance can come between how each of you holds the current situation. Keep writing. It’s good.

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